For years, I prayed on and off about having children, never receiving total clarity. I believed procreation was God’s will, but it was also one of those directives that made me wonder if it was for everyone except me. Life was zooming by, and at the same time, I never felt old enough to be a parent. Then, suddenly, I was 40 and needed a clear answer.
Four years ago, I realized God communicates with me through dreams. It’s when I'm asleep that He has my full attention. So, when I prayed for clear direction, He answered me quickly through a dream that will amaze me for the rest of my life.
I saw myself pregnant, and in my belly button was a large ruby gemstone. I had never dreamed of myself being pregnant. When I woke up, I asked God, “What does that ruby mean?”
I headed to my Bible, grabbed my phone, and started searching for the meaning of rubies in scripture, discovering that, in Hebrew, the name Ruby comes from Reuben, which means “Behold, a son.”
My heart leaped.
I knew I would conceive a son. But when?
Months later, God sent another dream of a ruby gem board with five rows of rubies. The first row was dull, but the next four rows were sparkling, like the ruby I first saw. For months, I wondered about the meaning of this gem board, but I believe it mimicked the calendar, showing me all the opportunities to bring my baby to life.
The day I told Charlie I was pregnant, I shared my dream for the first time. We revisited scripture, learning that rubies were part of the high priest’s breastplate, that a ruby could’ve been the only light source on Noah's ark, and that the Bible sometimes calls red stones carbuncles. We also learned that our child would be born in January and that the birthstone of January is garnet.
We immediately agreed our baby’s name would not be Reuben but a name I had stored in my heart for years—River.
Reuben still held deep significance, though, because I knew it was a ruby I had seen in my belly button. Throughout my pregnancy, I continued to ask God to confirm, “Behold, a son.”
Every time I asked for confirmation, I often received it through a dream. A dream about a blue scarf or a little boy whose face I couldn't yet see. Other times, He would talk to me through scripture. Like the day I wondered why He wanted me to turn to the book of Ruth, until I opened directly to the words about Ruth’s son, “He will renew your life and sustain you in your old age.” I also knew that declaration was for me, and I clung to it.
Throughout my pregnancy, people asked if we knew the gender of our baby, and I learned the challenge of answering. I knew. I had told family members and some friends about my dream. And also the girls at the veterinarian office because it just flew out of my mouth. It gave them chills, but not everyone believed.
I heard things like:
“Aw, that's nice.”
“Either way, a baby is a blessing.”
“It’s gotta be a girl because you’re so sick.”
“Yeah, I wanted a boy, too, but I got a girl.”
Someone even warned me, “Be careful who you share your dream with,” because she knew another couple who thought they heard from God about the gender of their child, but they were wrong.
Every time someone doubted me, I returned to God and asked for confirmation, and every time, He sent me a dream or a sign.
Often, I had to remind myself that others' lack of faith or understanding of the prophetic or even them imposing their own will onto me did not determine the gender of my child and didn't need to diminish my conviction. I knew what I dreamed, and I knew Who sent the message.
This wasn't a matter of what I wanted. It was a matter of what I believed based on what God had shown me.
Charlie and I were so convinced of God's message that we bought the ruby you see in my photo.
Other things assured me, like the encouragement of Charlie, my mom, and my Jesus-loving midwives. Also, as hard as I tried, I could not think of a girl's name. Deep down, I knew it was because my baby was not a girl.
Later, we received more confirmation when we learned about Reuben, the firstborn son of Jacob, who stood up for Joseph to save him from being killed by their brothers. Our child would also be our firstborn. Jacob called Reuben "my might, the first sign of my strength, excelling in honor, excelling in power.” (Genesis 49:3)
Reuben’s tribe was known for keeping their word by helping other tribes conquer the Promised Land.
The symbol of the tribe of Reuben is water. Although Jacob attributed water to Reuben for negative reasons, I thought it was wild that we had already chosen the name River.
Ruby is the stone of the tribe of Reuben, which, in Jewish history, is associated with childbearing and thought to help in conceiving and maintaining a healthy pregnancy.
Charlie’s grandmother’s name was Ruby.
And although I can't prove this, I have a hunch that my husband, who we know is of Jewish descent, is from the tribe of Reuben.
Reuben played a major role in history, and he reminded us our son is designed for special purposes, to influence the world in his unique way.
I call my dream “River’s ruby anointing.” It is an anointing of life and love and loyalty.
Before this precious little soul was ever created, I dedicated him to God's Kingdom. Now that he’s with us, he has already significantly impacted us and others. All of this has irritated the enemy—I have proof, which I'll share in subsequent posts.
Only a month old, his life has already given me stories to write. I hope you’ll stay posted as I tell you about the most challenging nine months of my life, the unexpected turn of events surrounding his birth, our experience with both the medical establishment and alternative care, and the worst physical pain I’ve ever felt, because I believe what I learned affects us all.